They say you can’t form accurate memories until you have the language skills to assign meaning to your experience. I don’t agree.
I start explorng the world when I was sixteen. My teenage years spent them not with my friends from school, not dating not going to the movies. But working on a cargo ship with men age 40 years old plus..
I grew up before my time and start the responsibility duty too early , no guidance from family but from sailors spending their lives going from one port to another. stability was not my forte but i learn the nightlife the sex too soon,I had to follow the crowd, sailor lifestyle is what it is
Loneliness was a thing that I got used to so much it didn’t bother me at all, I had other things on my mind to keep me busy and they did.
When a year after went back home with full baank account but alone, I was so happy to see my hometown to eat the food a mother can only cook, the smell of the garden roses, I was home but my friends moved on.
They had girlfriends they’re going on dates, movies and I was on my own, felt like an Alien, so I decided to get back to where I was most comfortable, back to the sea life, there I know how to be lonely and indepented, families was not my thing but the nightlife.
years gone by I was coming and going my friends got married they have a family to look after kids to be looked after and I had none of that. Then the big change took place and change my life completely.
I join the military service for two years and in there i discover my sexuality, I was a gay man and then most things with my behavior make sense. I was having sex with girls but i was never satisfied by it. I did it because everybody else was doing it, I was missing something.
as a changing man i moved on to the capital, more people i didn’t know anyone a stranger but free man, and as always I got into trouble with the police and that cost me three years of my life in Prison
My Freedom has gone to hell this is a place where humanity does not exist you are a number you don’t hear your name unless you whisper it in your mind just to stay in touch with your conciousness, it is a very weird scary lonely cold dark place to be.
No internet, no going out no a mobile phone none of that. And on the top of that I knew the stigma of a prisoner will be with me for a very long time if not for the rest of my life. Yet sometimes the best way to fully appreciate something is to live
in the world there are so many movements for the cause of freedom.
Freedom is a deep need of each one of us. True freedom though is spiritual and means identifying and taking support from that which is permanent, that which always exists, that which is eternal.
I can only have and understand spiritual ability and power when I lay the foundation of my life on that which always exists — this is the way to deep spiritual freedom.
If I hold on to anything temporary in this world, then that which I am dependent on will ultimately cause me suffering and sorrow in some form.
Spiritual power is lost through the network of ‘I’ and ‘my’ that we create and try to depend on. I look outside and depend on those things that give me temporary support.
The ‘I’ of ego and the ‘my’ of dependency is like a sticky spider’s web and the paradox is, that the emptier and more insecure I feel, the more dependent
I am on those things outside of me in the web, then the more trapped I feel. It is then that I call out to God to liberate me.
There are pulls, attractions and influences that I am dependent on. One is that I become dependent on a belief that I have of myself; that I am not really loveable, for example.
Then even if I am shown love, I cannot really accept it because of the deep belief, on which I have come to depend, that I am not loveable.
God, though, sees the eternal reality of the soul. So, I have to break down these rigid, deeply held beliefs about my own limitations and take the support of One God only
But a tortured mind, a broken mind, a mind which wants to escape from all turmoil, which has denied the outer world and been made dull through discipline and conformity—such a mind, however long it seeks, will find only according to its own distortion.
So to discover whether there actually is or is not something beyond this anxious, guilty, fearful, competitive existence, it seems to me that one must have a completely different approach altogether.
The traditional approach is from the periphery inwards, and through time, practice and renunciation, gradually to come upon that inner flower, that inner beauty
And love—in fact, to do everything to make oneself narrow, petty and shoddy; peel off little by little; take time; tomorrow will do, next life will do— and when at last one comes to the centre, one finds there is nothing there because one’s mind has been made incapable, dull, and insensitive.
Having observed this process, one asks oneself, is there not a different approach altogether—that is, is it not possible to explode from the centre?
The world accepts and follows the traditional approach.
The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another; we mechanically follow somebody who will assure us a comfortable spiritual life.
It is the most extraordinary thing that although most of us are opposed to political tyranny and dictatorship, we inwardly accept the authority, the tyranny, of another to twist our minds and our way of life.
So if we completely reject, not intellectually but actually, all so-called spiritual authority, all ceremonies, rituals and dogmas, it means that we stand alone and are already in conflict with society; we cease to be respectable human beings.
A respectable human being cannot possibly come near to that infinite, immeasurable, reality. You have now started by denying something absolutely false—the traditional approach—
But if you deny it as a reaction you will create another pattern in which you will be trapped; if you tell yourself intellectually that this denial is a very good idea but do nothing about it, you cannot go any further.
If you deny it, however, because you understand the stupidity and immaturity of it, if you reject it with tremendous intelligence because you are free and not frightened, you will create a great disturbance in yourself and around you, but you will step out of the trap of respectability.
Then you will find that you are no longer seeking. That is the first thing to learn—not to seek. When you seek you are really only windowshopping.
The question of whether or not there is a God or truth or reality or whatever you like to call it can never be answered by books, priests, philosophers or saviours. Nobody and nothing can answer the question but you yourself, and that is why you must know yourself.
Immaturity lies only in total ignorance of self. To understand yourself is the beginning of wisdom. The writer is a sage, philosopher, and religious teacher from Krishnamurti Foundation India..
Healthy Minds, Healthy Planet….1
The soul itself is independent and eternal, but in connection with our life on earth and its expression, we depend on Mother Earth.
That is why she is called the mother she provides endlessly and abun-dantly.
Yet, our Mother Earth has now become an old lady with difficulties breathing, eating, and walking. She is ageing and needs a lot of care. For our own honor, we provide that care.
We make sure we do not waste resources and we handle all matters with respect and gentleness.
For example, we eat what we need but not more; instead, we share what we have with others whose needs are greater.
In addition, we do not waste thoughts, because ultimately, that will affect our dear mother. As we think, so goes the world around us.
Let us celebrate World Environment Day with the awareness of care and compassion for all living beings and nature.
Let us celebrate the beauty and harmony in nature. And wherever we see that it has been destroyed, we can bring it back to life by first creating beauty and harmony in our minds.
Perhaps one way of celebrating would be to visit an older person in your family or network and spend the day with them.
To share a meal, to share good memories and love. By restoring our minds to a healthy state, we can help restore Mother Earth.
Sonja Ohlsson is an experienced meditator and teacher of meditation, based in Copenhagen. She is the International Coordinator of the Brahma Kumaris Environment Initiative.