Why do people take advantage of good and kind people?
Some people see kindness as a weakness, and I believe this is for many different reasons. One being that genuinely kind people care, they want to help and give of themselves because it matters to them,
people matter to them; in part because the person may have that unique ability to put themselves in another's shoes, and really understand the meaning of the Golden Rule; do unto others as you would have done unto you.
On the flip side of this question, often people who are genuinely kind may not no how or when to say no, and enough is enough, therefore leaving themselves vulnerable.Are they to blame when this occurs? Should they be viewed as ignorant? Absolutely not, the shame lyes not with them, but with those take from them, and to then pass judgement.
Possibly there is a "weakness", a need to be liked. If they say no they may fear they won’t be liked, or possibly viewed as selfish. People are sometimes concerned how are perceived by others, this matters to them, and this would most likely stem from low self-esteem or some type of insecurities.
Then again there are people care so much they just can't say no, or bear to turn someone down, just because they see a need for help. They want to ease suffering and give hope to another human being.
No matter if a person is weak or strong, and only guilty of caring enough to reach out, for another to take advantage of them is shameful, and that is where the shame lies, shame on them.
When a user sees a weakness of sorts and are cable to take advantage, is a sure bet they will. The user knows someone cares enough to see another better themselves, and so they take, and they begin the process of using.
Often people will take full advantage because they've been allowed, because they can, and because they feel entitle, while lacking conscience, character, and being void of morals.
It just doesn't matter; they're out there, just waiting to prey on the kindness of others. The strong can take advantage of the weak, the takers will take from the givers, the user's will use and then come back for more.
Sometimes they're making a living at it, a career of it, and at the expense of another.
Whether strong versus the weak, young versus the old, whatever it is, there will always be someone to take advantage of the person with good intent.
It's not always money, it can be an emotionally taking, or a taking of time, while draining one's energy. We should all try to do our best to help another human being, an animal, a living creature of any kind,
but your fellow man, a person, a someone like you, like me, now these are the kind selfless acts of humanity, of the authentic, who truely care.
We don't stop caring and giving, whether it be of our time, emotions, money; an act that helps comfort or benefit another is a lovely thing to do, a selfless act, or a gesture of kindness.
There's your answer and thank you for asking, it matters, we all matter. Don't be hardened, but be wise, don't stop caring and giving for that's just giving up. Give, but give with sound mind, open eyes and open hearts.
Let's all try to remember that Golden Rule, and not take advantage of others, for one day, one of us just may be that person in need. Never stop caring, it matters, we all matter!
Because your a nice person. Mean people including narcissists target ‘nice’ people so that can manipulate and abuse them. All my life I considered myself a nice person and got nothing but abuse, especially from people who were supposed to love me.
I let men use me cause I thought I wasn’t being ‘nice’ enough to them. Bottom line was I had very low self esteem and couldn’t understand why people treated me this way. It was only after my mother passed away and I was alone with two kids to raise by myself that I grew a pair.
And boy did I ever! I got fed up with people’s bullshit attitude and started taking up for myself. If I suspected someone was trying to use me for whatever reason, I called them up on it. Of course, a lot of them denied it, but my motto is Action Speaks Louder Than Words. How someone treats you pretty much tells you how they feel about you.
Now, I don’t let anyone push me around, not doctors, workers, bosses, psycho friends and family, nobody! In fact, I’ve had friends tell me they feel safe being around me cause I won’t put up with anyone’s BS. That’s how you get people to respect you. Respect yourself first.
I’m not saying to cop an attitude and be a mean person. Just demand people to treat you right, or leave them alone. I am alone, but I love it. I have my little house, my dog, a nice car and all the friends I care to have. I do have a male friend that is also ‘too nice’ and he drives me crazy cause he according to him. (he chooses) to let women use and abuse him.
There is one in particular that used to be a Puerto Rican drug dealer with her boyfriend. This is one mean, psycho woman! Now he pretends to take care of her. She’s had three kidney transplants and sometimes has to be hooked on IV’s when she’s at home.
He’ll drive all the way across town, unload her stuff from her van, bring them in her house, hooked the IV’s up, stay with her all night cause she’s afraid of being alone and basically kisses her ass. You’d think she would be grateful? NO! She doesn’t even pay him.
This woman has such a violent temper that even the toughest and scariest looking man can’t stand to be around her. She will go off on my friend over nothing. If he can’t get to her right away when she snaps her fingers, she throws a violent fit! She has thrown knives at him, beat him up, cursed him out in front of other people, verbally and physically abuses him.
But….he keeps coming back for more. I can’t respect him. I’ve told him he’s not normal and he knows it, but he doesn’t care. And yet he wonders why women use him because after all he’s a ‘nice person.” There’s a difference between being stupid nice and nice
Because they lack a spine. The kind of people who can’t raise voice against anything wrong happening.
You constantly feel that you’re being taken for a ride by your boss, friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, and basically most of the people in your life. Is it their fault or yours? The answer is—yours. There are some reasons why people take you for granted.
You are non-confrontational. You hate conflict. They know you will never address an issue even if it bothers you.
You cannot refuse people. You just cannot say no. It kills you to decline requests. They know they can keep asking you for undue favours and you will always oblige.
You’re usually the one with no opinion. If you’re always ‘okay’ with any plan, if you rarely voice your wishes or dislikes, it is understandable why people take you for granted.
You are always seeking approval for your actions. You send out a message that you cannot function without people’s opinions and that’s exactly when people start to feel that they can control you.
You’re indecisive. You can never make up your mind about anything. And the moment you show the world you don’t know what you want, they start taking you for a ride.
You’re never the one to raise his voice against things you don’t approve of. People know you’re too shy (read scared) to stand up even for yourself and that gives them the liberty to wrong you every time. If you don’t raise your voice against being taken for granted once, it will happen again. Always.
You give people too much importance too soon. You go out of your way to help them when they don’t even need it; you give away exclusivity at the drop of a hat.
You’re always trying to please people and truth be told, nobody respects a people pleaser. Even when someone does take you for granted, you let it pass instead of putting your foot down and talking about it because you always want to be in everybody’s good books. Stop fearing disapproval.
You have low self-confidence. It looks like you’re keeping shut about it because you’re not sure about it.
You’re too easy a person. While it is a great trait to be adjusting, you make yourself look like a doormat. Know how to be adjusting and yet firm.
Give importance to yourself. Appreciate your existence. Appreciate your identity. If you don’t give importance to yourself, how can you expect others to do so? And the most important thing here is—Learn to say ‘No’
It’s because empathetic people like us tend to get taken advantage of.
I hung out with my friends Anna and Tom today and we smoked weed all afternoon. I kept providing Tom with weed because he’d been depressed recently and I felt bad for him. But he was being so greedy just asking for more and more. Finally I just was like “I don’t want to smoke anymore” and went to go sit down.
Tom proceeded to put out the end of his joint on my TV when he thought I wasn’t looking (then blamed it on Anna which was infuriating). Next, out of the corner of my eye I saw him open up my little bud jar and proceeded to take everything he could from it. I was shocked.
I said, “Tom why would you do that? We just smoked so much of my weed, why would you steal from me like that? I need that weed for my insomnia.” He told me he was greening out from everything we smoked.
He said “Oh uh sorry man I just am really high and made a bad decision.” Bullshit, he told me earlier he wasn’t even really feeling the weed because of his tolerance to it! It’s just one lie after the other with him!
But thats when I realized something crazy! He had spent about 20 minutes lecturing me on how love isn’t real and how he doesn’t believe in it (which is really frustrating since he was literally trying to convince me I couldn’t feel love when I have felt it many times in the past) and I realized Tom doesn’t have very much empathy.
He didn’t care about me as a friend (even though just earlier he was saying how good of friends we were) so he decided to rob me to benefit himself and didn’t even feel bad enough to admit the truth. He also said he doesn’t believe in Love. Said by someone without the ability to sympathize with others.
I was so kind to him yet he backstabbed me. I felt empathy for his ongoing depression and saw an opportunity to try to cheer him up. He saw an opportunity to help himself by getting as much bud off me as possible.
First repeatedly asking me to smoke more then he just decided to steal it while I was four feet away. Empathy allowed me to be a good person. His lack of it allowed him to be a terrible one.
Tom being a horrible houseguest allowed me to come to the conclusion empathy is the root of any and all good done by our species in this world- it’s the sole trait in a person that makes them human.
It allows us to be more then just an animal helping ourselves, but to be good for the sake of helping someone else. From now on I plan to empathize with everyone, and to have as much of it as I possibly can. The empathy is making me happy,
I didn’t even get angry when he robbed me, I just kindly spoke to him about it. Now instead of resenting him I feel fine- no I feel great! I got my weed back which I need for my insomnia right before bed and I did it without having to resort to violence.
I just saw the standpoint of his greed, and explained to him how fucked up what he just did was. It’s like i’m starting to become a little bit more like the person I always tried to be. Someone who’s really empathetic.
Any bad things people have done to me in the past was caused by lack of empathy. Any bad thing I did in the past was because of a lack of empathy too. Like bailing on Louise before our date last winter, fuck see I feel bad now that I hurt her. I’m going to apologize for that next time I see her.
It was a dick move on my part to not speak to her in person and i’m becoming a better person because of my understanding I fucked up. Lack of empathy is why I left my last two friend groups. Why i’ve been forced to temporarily be without a friend group and with simply a few close friends.
My last two friendgroups were all just greedy and selfish people who cared for themselves above all others. They’d used me to borrow several hundreds of dollars with the promise to repay that loan. I never got so much as a dollar back.
Now that i’m only associating myself with people that have a lot of empathy i’m allowing myself to become happier. I can be kind and empathetic without being taken advantage of because my friends are good people as well. I’ve still got my close friend Constance who I have a super great connection with and all I need is that little bit of support.
Think about how much of a better place the world would become with a little bit more empathy. If every person walking down the street gave the homeless guy begging for change at the end of your block a quarter he could get himself a room.
A warm meal. Political corruption would cease to exist, politicians would work towards the greater good for their people (the way Bobby Kennedy tried to) and would make the world a better place, rather then the greed and power getting to their heads.
The brightest people like Martin Luther King jr and Bobby Kennedy who tried to do good in the world would be able to have done more, if their assassinators had empathised with them instead of permanently removing them from existence.
Empathy is the root of all good in this world. The more of it you allow youself to have and the more you sympathize with others, the more you can do good for the world.
The less of it you have the more you’ll feel greed and be able to do terrible things without feeling bad. So do me a personal favor, please be empathetic!
M I Ro