Somebody
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November 22, 2022
What straight……..Gay Sex
November 27, 2022We all want to be somebody, do we?
Most people see fame as a way to feel important, to feel loved, appreciated, and recognized by everyone around them
Whether it’s someone who was neglected by his parents in his childhood, a guy who felt lower in status because his friends around him got more attention and love in school, or that girl who was ignored by the only guy that she loved — neglect is the single biggest culprit that fuels its victims’ desire for fame.
People also crave fame because they want power, status, and wealth; No one wants to be treated like a nobody, like they’re unimportant, or powerless, and this is why almost every other person wants to become famous; this is what makes fame so desirable.
Fame Addiction
A dog that is denied attention and love is going to have a much worse quality of life than one that is given attention. People are the same way, even many of those who are introverted or misanthropes or self-styled curmudgeon, are subconsciously addicted to attention (fame) at some level.
Every worst fear about oneself (that one is stupid, ugly, not worthy of existence) will daily be actively confirmed by strangers. And believe me, the idea of “haters gon hate” is easier said than done, especially when you’re constantly getting hit with a storm of haters who will say and do anything to make people turn against you. Fame does not mean appreciation.
Appreciation and understanding are only available through individuals one knows and cares about, not via groups of a thousand or a million strangers
Hence, fame creates many unnecessary frustrations that can be avoided at the small price of embracing anonymity.
With so many individuals (especially young ones) who see fame as a way to get respect, validation, or love, we need not dismiss the desire to become famous or curse the idea of fame — if we just understand that fame can not and does not offer what’s expected of it (true love and appreciation), we may be able to decide if it’s really worth it.
It might be hard for you to accept and live with the fact that someone other than you is getting so much attention and “love” while you’re not; you may feel less important, worthless or “lower” in the presence of one who is being treated a lot better because of his celebrity, you may feel like you need to do something to make yourself feel more important.
But once you truly understand that fame is neither a solution for neglect nor a shortcut to friendship or love, you’ll hopefully put more effort into the things that actually do matter in life.
For most of its existence, the field of psychology has ignored fame as a primary motivator of human behavior: it was considered too shallow, too culturally variable, too often mingled with other motives to be taken seriously.
But in recent years, a small number of social scientists have begun to study and think about fame in a different way, ranking it with other goals, measuring its psychological effects, characterizing its devoted seekers.
People with an overriding desire to be widely known to strangers are different from those who primarily covet wealth and influence. Their fame-seeking behavior appears rooted in a desire for social acceptance, a longing for the existential reassurance promised by wide renown.
These yearnings can become more acute in life’s later years, as the opportunities for fame dwindle, “but the motive never dies, and when we realize we’re not going to make it in this lifetime, we find some other route: posthumous fame,” said Orville Gilbert Brim, a psychologist who is completing a book called “The Fame Motive.” The book is based on data he has gathered and analyzed, with the support of the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.
“It’s like belief in the afterlife in medieval communities, where people couldn’t wait to die and go on to better life,” Dr. Brim said. “That’s how strong it is.
The urge to achieve social distinction is evident worldwide, even among people for whom prominence is neither accessible nor desirable. In rural Hindu villages in India, for instance, widows are expected to be perpetual mourners, austere in their habits, appetites and dress; even so, they often jockey for position, said Richard A. Shweder, an anthropologist in the department of comparative human development at the University of Chicago.
“Many compete for who is most pure,” Dr. Shweder said. “They say, ‘I don’t eat fish, I don’t eat eggs, I don’t even walk into someone’s house who has eaten meat.’ It’s a natural kind of social comparison.”
We all have a deep psychological need, comparable to the need for food and water or for shelter, that is to be approved by people. This is why fame is so attractive, and it’s what fuels everyone’s desire for fame in the first place.
With the growing number of famous Instagram influencers, YouTubers, TikTokers, and the growing ease of access to fame, it makes everyone want their share of it.
Everybody wants some type of fame. Social media is built around this concept; people enjoy their own smaller version of fame on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. The traditional perception of fame was limited to and associated with only big musicians, politicians, sports stars, and actors — it’s no longer the case now since anyone can use social media to get attention and feel like a celebrity.
When you look at it, fame, for a lot of people, is really just an understandable addiction for constant attention, love, and approval, which is a problem.
Why Fame is More of a Problem Than a Solution
People who fantasize about being famous fail to understand what fame really offers (mere attention); they don’t realize that getting noticed by people does not necessarily mean you’ll be loved or understood by them, which is why everyone one wants to become famous in the first place.
Generally, fame creates more problems that one thinks it can solve. Let’s take all the hate that comes with the attention that fame offers; strangers who don’t have a clue about how one actually is in person will attack him and try to destroy his image. Random people on the internet will state their negative opinions in detail, unable or simply unwilling to imagine that famous people bleed far more quickly than anyone else.
The Desire to Feel Wanted and Loved
First, you need to realize that fame is everywhere and that we’ll be talking about fame across different levels; from your manager who is famous throughout your town to Justin Bieber, who is probably even known by your grandma.
Whether it’s someone who was neglected by his parents in his childhood, a guy who felt lower in status because his friends around him got more attention and love in school, or that girl who was ignored by the only guy that she loved — neglect is the single biggest culprit that fuels its victims’ desire for fame
Money and power are handy, but millions of ambitious people are after something other than the corner office or the beach house on St. Bart’s. They want to swivel necks, to light a flare in others’ eyes, to walk into a crowded room and feel the conversation stop.
They are busy networking, auditioning, talking up their latest project — a screenplay, a memoir, a new reality show — to satisfy a desire so obvious it is all but invisible.
“To be noticed, to be wanted, to be loved, to walk into a place and have others care about what you’re doing, even what you had for lunch that day: that’s what people want, in my opinion,” said Kaysar Ridha, 26, of Irvine, Calif., a recent favorite of fans of the popular CBS reality series “Big Brother.” “It’s strange and twisted, because when that attention does come, the irony is you want more privacy.
Surveys in Chinese and German cities have found that about 30 percent of adults report regularly daydreaming about being famous, and more than 40 percent expect to enjoy some passing dose of fame — their “15 minutes,” in Andy Warhol’s famous phrase — at some point in life, according to data analyzed by Dr. Brim. The rates are roughly equivalent to those found in American adults. For teenagers, the rates are higher.
Yet for all the dreamers, only one or two in 100 rate fame as their most coveted goal, trumping all others, the data collected by Dr. Brim and others show.
“It’s a distinct type, people who expect to get meaning out of fame, who believe the only way to have their lives make sense is to be famous,” said Tim Kasser, a psychologist at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill. “We all need to make meaning out of our lives, and this is one way people attempt to do it.”
Therapists and researchers, including Dr. Brim, have traced longing for renown to lingering feelings of rejection or neglect. After all, celebrity is the ultimate high school in-group, writ large. It appears a perfect balm for the sting of social exclusion, or neglect by emotionally or physically absent parents.
In her memoir, “In the Shadow of Fame,” Sue Erikson Bloland, daughter of the renowned psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, writes, “He had the kind of charisma that made people hungry to know him — to become privy to what he was thinking and feeling and writing about.”
