If someone says “you know who you are” to compliment or express gratitude or convey affection, I think it will be better, from the perspective of the object of the compliment, for those people’s names to be disclosed, if possible.
For example, someone says, “I’m grateful to the people who helped make this project a success. You know who are you.” If I were one of those people, I’d rather hear the person say, “I’m grateful to Chrissie, Mary, and Bill for their invaluable support and advice,” or something like that.
On the other hand, if the person says “you know who you are” to criticize, cast blame or express disappointment, saying “you know who are” may be good enough.
For example, the person says, “I’m proud of my success, despite the disapproval and criticism of naysayers. You know who you are.” In that case, it may be better, in order to keep the peace, to leave well enough alone and say nothing more.
I absolutely did not have a good feeling from them, in the sense, I didn’t feel they respected me or valued in anyway, they constantly pressurised me to sign a long-term contract that was rather unilateral, and the contract didn’t really promise any rights to the employee.
I was young (21 years old), inexperienced and naive, and most of all lacked any sense of self-worth at this point in my life.
I was terribly stressed to find a “proper” job in dancing, I was stressed by my father’s protest against my choices, I was terribly scared that I didn’t know the ways of the world, and I was pressurised by my employers.
I succumbed and signed the contract, even though every cell of my body was protesting and telling me “This is a BAAAAD idea!!”
I lasted about 20 months in that company. And my bad feeling was right.
While I had good experiences too, the most important thing was they were not respectful of their employees, and constantly threatened them in various underhand sort of ways to keep them at bay
I learnt the value of saying No, by not having said it in the right moments and therefore having paid a huge price for it
I learnt, slowly but surely, to trust the signs of my body, my intuition.
And I learnt that the more I trust myself, the more accurate the answers are, the better my relationship with my inner counsel, the better the trust with myself.
Looking inside of yourself for answers means having a trustful relationship with yourself. Means listening to your own counsel, even if everyone around you seems to disagree with you.
No, it is not stubbornness, although stubbornness might sometimes be needed in order to stand your ground while listening to yourself. Here is one of my personal examples.
I studied to become a journalist, but somewhere along the way it was clear that I had to dance in order to be happy. That had to be my way. Obviously it was not my family’s way, and since I come from a traditional family, the ways of the system was quite strong.
Nevertheless, I chose to dance in this particular contemporary dance company to get a head start into a field of work that I really had no information about. My father was very against it, the money was really low, I was desperate, but most of all, the bosses (there were 5 of them!) were very bossy
Often our artistic visions didn’t match and while it was not my company, and therefore not the place to work on my artistic vision, it was also pretty ruthless the way they worked.
We were overworked, underpaid, and not respected. I quit in after a series of rows, eventually to be sued by the company for a lumpsome, because I broke the contract!
The court case went on for 8 years.
And, yes, thanks to the unilateral contract, I lost it. I paid them a certain sum of money.
The point is not what kind of people they were. The point is, I did not listen to the warning sign my inner voice was giving me. I did not trust myself. I walked against what felt like the wrong thing to do, and I did it all for the wrong reasons anyway (fear etc.).
As a matter of fact, I do not regret anything about it. It was a big lesson for me, and a very very important one.
I learnt, the very hard way, the value of looking into myself for answers.
I learnt what it is that is really important for me in an employment. I learnt not to compromise for anything lesser, even if I am scared that the future might not bring anything better.